Sept. 19, 2024—If you're a parent, you may have two scripts about raising children running in your head. One says that parenting is one of the most fulfilling and important jobs out there. The other says that it's one of the most frustrating and exhausting.
For most, the reality of parenting lies somewhere in the middle. But one thing is certain: Mothers and fathers are experiencing higher levels of stress than ever.
Stressors and struggles
According to a 2024 advisory published by the Office of the Surgeon General, when compared to adults without children:
- 48% of parents report overwhelming levels of stress on most days.
- 41% of parents are too stressed to function normally on most days.
Parents' stress levels were on the upswing before COVID-19, says the advisory. But the pandemic likely added even more strain.
The advisory says that major stressors for parents include:
- Rising costs of healthcare, child care, food and other basic living expenses.
- Increased time spent working outside the home, caring for kids and possibly caring for other family members, such as aging parents.
- Worrying about their children's mental health and physical safety.
- Feeling isolated and lonely.
- The effects of social media on their kids.
- Struggling to meet societal expectations and general worries about the future.
Other factors also play a role, the advisory notes. Poverty, discrimination and racism can intensify a parent's stress and even increase their risk for mental health conditions like depression.
What parents can do
Parenting stress can build up over time and lead to burnout, says the American Psychological Association, especially because being a mom or dad isn't a job you can leave at the end of the day. You're needed 24/7.
While you can't take a break from parenting, there are ways to cope. Here are some things to try if you're feeling overwhelmed or worry that your stress is affecting your family or your health.
Talk with other parents. Chances are they feel the same way you do. There's no shame in admitting you've hit your limit. Sharing your experiences can help you feel supported.
Lighten your load. It's easy to stress about all the things you feel like you "should" be doing as a parent. Remember that many of these "shoulds" are self-imposed. Think about where you can cut yourself some slack. Instead of signing up to volunteer for every school event, pick just one or two per year that you're excited about, for example.
Take time for yourself. Look for opportunities throughout your day to take five-minute breaks. Do a deep-breathing exercise in the shower. Or try a guided meditation while sitting in your car after grocery shopping.
Break down big challenges. When a problem seems insurmountable, try separating it into smaller, doable segments. Then tackle each of those segments one at a time. For instance, if you're stressed by figuring out summer child care, plan to research one camp option each night for a week.
Talk to a pro. A mental health professional is trained to help you cope with stress and burnout, recover from setbacks, and manage your emotions.
If you're having trouble coping with parenting stress, let your provider know.
Sources
- American Academy of Pediatrics. "Feeling Overwhelmed With Parenting Demands?" https://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/family-dynamics/Pages/Feeling-Overwhelmed-with-Parenting-Demands.aspx.
- American Psychological Association. "Parental Burnout and Stress." https://www.apa.org/topics/stress/parental-burnout.
- U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. "Parents Under Pressure: The U.S. Surgeon General's Advisory on the Mental Health and Well-Being of Parents." https://www.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/parents-under-pressure.pdf.